The Student Media Site of Georgia College & State University

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The Student Media Site of Georgia College & State University

Bobcat Multimedia

The Student Media Site of Georgia College & State University

Bobcat Multimedia

Will you accept this reality?

Kylie Rowe | Asst. A&L Editor

It is no wonder why reality TV lovers enjoy reality shows so much. They are generally action-packed, drama-filled, and loaded with romance that is just too compelling not to watch. They are filled with real people in real-time. Reality TV seems so much more affiliated with real life than other shows that just give us a fantasy of a relationship. They are so relatable. Right?

Long story short, I do not think it is very relatable. I think reality TV is insane and should not be considered good-quality television. This may be controversial, but “The Bachelor,” especially, gets on my nerves. 

The idea behind this popular romantic reality series may seem sweet, but I think it is actually just downright creepy. It is a show about some guy dating several women all at once, and everyone is just OK with it. Yet, if it was right in front of us and not on television, we would think it was crazy, or at least I would. So, why is it OK to do it on TV? Is it the pretty dresses, romantic setting or all the ruby red roses that distract us from the fact that there is no way this is all real?

At first glance, “The Bachelor” seems like a modern experiment of matchmaking and finding true love. However, is it actually effective? Do couples that come out of this show actually stay together?  

“The reality TV franchise has captivated millions of viewers for 20 years, but less than 10 couples are still together,” said Ruth Etiesit Samuel, a culture reporter at HuffPost.

There have been 28 seasons of “The Bachelor” and that means there should be 28 couples. If the whole point of “The Bachelor” is for two people to ultimately find forever love, then why have less than half of the couples actually stuck together?  I think that this is not a very effective way to find love. Dating should be because you genuinely care for that person and think of only them. If a person is actively dating someone, their intentions should only be for that one person.

There is casual dating, and there is dating to marry. Most people would say that, when dating to marry, they prefer the other person not be dating other people. In “The Bachelor”, the guy is dating many women at one time to find love and someone that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Do not get me wrong, casual dating is totally fine because not everyone is looking for a permanent partner or interested in marriage, but that still tends to be a two-sided, exclusive understanding. Casual dating is one thing, but on “The Bachelor”, they are not even casual dating. They are trying to make a deep connection and find their perfect match. How can you make that deep connection when you are doing the same thing with several other people?

“And by dating just one person at a time, you are more likely to be emotionally available, build genuine connections and be your authentic self when out on dates,” said an Ignite Dating blog post.

How can someone be their authentic self on a date while thinking about other women and having to open up to them too? How is pitting women against each other going to bring about authentic love? How does this show display that they truly care about this guy who is the “ideal guy” and not show that they are just trying to win him over? 

The reality of reality television is that it is not reality. It is not relatable at all. It all feels so staged, and we often sit there wondering, “Why are they behaving like that?” or “I would not have acted like that. I would have acted in a different way.” The truth of it all is that bringing various women together to basically compete for one man is just a recipe for disaster and not comparable to real life. 

It is the same for “The Bachelorette” just that the roles are reversed. It is a show about one woman dating various different men, and they are all competing for her attention. The whole franchise revolves around this idea of seeking out true love when it is basically a dating competition and not really and genuinely authentic. . 

The drama that ensues from multiple women living together and all dating the same guy is just mind-blowing. It actually astonishes me that someone thought this was a good idea and then decided to go ahead and film it to put on television. There is no way that any of that could have a positive outcome. They have pitted these women against each other to basically all compete for the same guy. 

“At its core, the show seems to be reinforcing the unhealthy idea that women should view other women as adversaries and that romantic relationships should always take precedence over friendships,” said Sophia Mitrokostas, a contributing writer for Business Insider.

I thought women were supposed to support women. This show is not only destroying the image of romance but also destroying the image of female friendships. It is so strange to go out with multiple women and then choose one to leave just because they were not compatible enough. That must be terrible for the women who have to go home. The other women are left feeling enlightened and hopeful, but then the next week they are the ones left without a rose. 

It seems like the women are more interested in receiving that flower rather than actually authentically making a connection and getting the guy. Imagine feeling like you really connect with someone and think you are really getting to know them and see a future with them, and then are left roseless and single for all of America to witness. Now, you are left with contempt for these women instead of friendship and walk away more heartbroken than before. 

It is also not to mention all their personal life is out in the open. Getting to know someone should be something between you and the other person. It is healthy to have some privacy in a relationship. There are some things that should be held between you and the other person only and not on display for all the world to see. 

“What makes a great scene in a movie relationship (i.e., man running through the rain to try to get his lover back after he wronged her) makes for an uncomfortable scene in a marriage,” said Andrea Syrtash, a dating and relationship writer, in Glamour magazine. “A healthy marriage requires consistency, not drama.”

The spotlight that “The Bachelor” directs onto couples is brought about by all the drama of this show. Drama is not what drives a relationship; it is what breaks it. All the drama that is brought from this show is not what will bring about a healthy relationship for these people.

The reality of finding love is that the goal should be not to find a perfect love that looks glamorous but is actually just all looks and no substance. Instead, the reality of love is to find a love that lasts, is exclusive and personal and is worth fighting for. 

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