Whether you grew up as an only child or spent your childhood fighting for space with siblings, living with a college roommate can be a shock. Beds a few feet apart, shared microwaves, piles of dishes and early-morning “hey guys” reminder texts are just a few of the realities of having a roommate. 

Roommate horror stories are practically a rite of passage. Scroll through social media or ask around campus, and you’ll quickly hear about passive-aggressive sticky notes, blaring alarms that go unanswered and debates over whose turn it is to take out the trash. 

But while conflict is common, it doesn’t have to define your experience. The goal isn’t to avoid every disagreement but to make sure you’re doing your part to be a good roommate. 

That starts with respect and responsibility. Simple habits such as cleaning up after yourself, communicating clearly and being mindful of shared space go a long way toward keeping the space.

“Through experience, I found setting boundaries early on benefits roommates long-term,” said Joshua Jones, a Community Advisor for GCSU. “Through setting boundaries, you can avoid situations that would’ve originally caused issues in the relationship.”

Honest communication can prevent small annoyances from growing into major arguments. Setting expectations early, especially around cleaning, noise and guests, can save a lot of stress later on.

“Going in with clear expectations of how household expectations will be split was a true lifesaver,” said Ella Bowen, a junior mass communications major. “Since we are already friends and share a friend group, having guests hasn’t been a problem.”

But even the best-laid plans require flexibility. Sharing a space means adjusting your routines, compromising on preferences and sometimes letting go of minor frustrations.

“Compromise! You’re sharing a space with someone, so it’s important to come to decisions together!” said Scarlett Cueto, a junior English and mass communications major.

Compromise can look like agreeing on quiet hours, alternating who cleans common areas or meeting in the middle when decorating your shared space. It’s not about keeping score; it’s about building a living environment where both people feel comfortable.

Another often-overlooked element of being a good roommate is empathy. Everyone has bad days, busy weeks or moments when they slip up. Giving your roommate grace when they make mistakes and asking for it when you do can help preserve the relationship.

At the same time, respecting personal space is crucial. Not every shared living situation turns into a built-in best friendship, and that’s okay. You don’t have to be joined at the hip to coexist peacefully. Sometimes, being a good roommate simply means knowing when to give each other privacy.

Finally, take care of yourself. It’s easier to show up as a considerate roommate when you’re managing your own stress, staying organized and advocating for your needs. If problems become too overwhelming to handle on your own, most universities have resident assistants, community advisors or conflict-resolution resources that can help mediate.

Jones, who helps mediate student conflicts on campus, also encourages students to approach disagreements thoughtfully.

“One way to navigate roommate conflicts is to use ‘I feel’ statements,” Jones said. “For example, instead of saying, ‘You always leave your clothes on the floor. It’s disgusting,’ you can say, ‘I feel uncomfortable when clothes are left on the floor.’ It is a lot more approachable and doesn’t make your roommate feel targeted. It creates better ground for understanding.”

Living with a roommate can be one of the most challenging and rewarding parts of the college experience. With a mix of respect, communication and compromise, you can avoid becoming someone else’s horror story and maybe even create a friendship that lasts beyond move-out day.