I always say I have three hobbies in college: working out, reading and binge-watching movies, specifically romantic comedies. Of my top three favorite movies, my second favorite of all time is “13 Going On 30.”
“13 Going On 30” is a romantic comedy about the main character, Jenna Rink, and her obvious love interest and best friend, Matt Flamhaff. The movie begins with Jenna at age 13, desperately wanting to be “30, flirty, and thriving.” With magic and chaos ensuing at her 13th birthday party, she ends up becoming her 30-year-old self and navigating relationships the way she always wanted.
What I love most about this movie is that we get romance, comedy and a lesson learned in such a thoughtful way. The movie concludes with Jenna realizing how good she has it being 13, rather than the idyllic 30.
Another takeaway I learned and may even be more important than the main message is the idea of “friends to lovers.”We see in the media so much the idea of “enemies to lovers” or the “bad boy” or a trope with rebellion, where in reality someone you love most likely will be someone you are friends or acquaintances with.
Jenna realizes in the movie that Matt, her best friend that she didn’t choose the first time around, is the one for her and the one to marry; this was ironically revealed when their 30-year-old selves had a heart-to-heart right before Matt’s wedding day… to someone else.
In reality, we do not get a chance to rewind time like in a romantic comedy, but what I love about the final messages in them is that we learn the lesson from the movie itself so that we don’t have to make those mistakes, or can relate if we already have.
In an effort to deep dive into if rom-coms really are an accurate depiction of real life or just fantasy, I came across an article from Medium, titled “The Realism Of Rom-Coms.” Throughout the article it suggests that the unrealistic aspect from rom-coms is from the unexpected meet-cute and that first meetings have to be so impactful. In reality, that isn’t always the case.
Although, the ending line struck me.
“At its heart, rom-coms are stories of foolish humans like us who fall in love, make mistakes and try again. What is unrealistic about that?” said Praise Vandeh, a writer for Medium.
If we all strive for the goals that the characters in these rom-coms want, which is true love even with trial and error, maybe rom-coms aren’t all that off from real life. But that isn’t with a little drama and magic involved.
Sometimes the rom-coms with the best lessons happen to have the most extravagant plots. I was talking with my friend Kaley when we discussed our favorite rom-coms. I was excited to know we had one favorite in particular, “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before.”
“Recently, I’ve been rewatching the series “‘To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before,’” said Kaley Parham, a senior psychology major. “I do really enjoy them because they’re lighthearted and it’s easy to fall in love with the characters.”
“To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before” has a plotline where Lara Jean Song Covey and Peter Kavinsky fake date in an attempt to act unbothered by their current relationship complexities.
In reality, do most people fake date? Probably not. But in this rom-com, it is romantically endearing as they end up falling in love as the main characters often do.
Parham had another point though, one that brings us back to my main point: the most realistic trope in a romantic comedy is “friends to lovers,” compared to something as outlandish as the ideas in “The Notebook.”
“Relying on rom-coms for a realistic depiction of love gets tricky because of the dramatization,” Parham said. “I think ‘The Notebook’ is an example of this because their relationship is toxic and most likely would not have worked out in real life, but because their love is so intense and passionate, it seems desirable to viewers. I think a more realistic rom-com is ‘When Harry Met Sally’ because the friendship dynamics ring more true to the real world.”
The dramatization and glamorization of rom-coms is the same concept that gets me to love reality television as well. It’s an escape from the real world that can give us a sense of relaxation or peace. Sometimes though, the best rom-coms are the ones we can relate to and can have open conversations about from its content.
That isn’t without saying one last important concept on the topic: the toxic glamorization of relationships and situationships based on romantic comedies. In theory, they should be lighthearted and have two underlying emotions, humor and love.
“We might not think watching sappy romantic comedies could affect our concept of expectations between men and women. The hyper-romantic reality of rom-coms impacts our perception of our relationships or, should I say, ‘situationships’ in our lives,” said Camryn Bacon, in her article “The Toxic Reality Of Rom-Coms” for A-Line Magazine.
This distortion of reality can lead us to believe that dramatic twists and turns concluded in 90 minutes with a happy ending is the norm in our own lives. As we consume these stories, we may subconsciously accept unhealthy behaviors as acceptable in the pursuit of romance, mistaking conflict as passion and misunderstandings as exciting. This can foster unrealistic standards for what it means to connect with someone, leaving us disillusioned when real relationships fail to mirror the scripted charm we’ve grown accustomed to.
As I reflect on these films, it becomes clear that while we may not live in a cinematic universe, the emotions stirred by these stories mirror real-life experiences. They remind us that love often unfolds in unexpected ways and can bloom naturally from deep friendships. Let’s embrace the charm of romantic comedies and their engaging plots and more importantly, let’s celebrate the friendships that may lead us to the greatest love stories of our lives.