Over the past year, it seems as if there is constantly an announcement of a new celebrity breakup. Whether it is through a divorce or canceled engagements, it feels like everyone wants out of their relationships.
Since celebrities share their lives with the public, many people feel a sense of false closeness with those in the spotlight, and this often manifests in fans feeling entitled to know what happened in their favorite celebrities personal life.
News broke earlier in the month that singer-songwriter Joe Jonas and actress Sophie Turner are planning to get a divorce. Jonas filed for divorce on Sept. 5 in Florida. The day after this filing, the couple released a joint statement addressing the ending of their four-year marriage ended, claiming it was a “mutual decision.”
Their divorce shocked the world, and it has been speculated that Turner did not find out about it until the public did, causing many fans to be outraged on her behalf.
Allegedly, the two have are having issues deciding the custody agreement for their children. After traveling to America to collect the children, Turner filed a lawsuit against Jonas that supposedly claims that Jonas refused to provide passports for the couples two children. However, it has been reported that on Sept. 25, Jonas and Turner agreed to keep their daughters in New York until the custody agreement is finalized.
“If they have children, learn to co-parent,” said Jamie Gray, marriage therapist who works for GC Counseling Services. “Do not use the children as a pawn, and do what is best for them moving forward. Keep your divorce private. No one needs to be aware of the entire situation.”
Many of these divorces have been popping up during September because it is a popular time for family lawyers. Similarly, laywers also see spikes in divorce filings on the first Monday of Jan., also often refered to as Divorce Day, as some clients wait to file until after the holidays conclude.
According to Stowe Family Law, the theory is that families have to spend so much time together during summer and leading up to winter holidays that it exposes issues that were not seen before, causing them to end their relationships.
The reasons leading to divorce differ for each couple, and according to American psychologist John Gottman, there are four predictors for divorce or separation.
The four predictors are criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Criticism is attacking your partner at their core, which can include making someone feel hurt and rejected.
Contempt is fueled by long-term negative comments, disrespect and name-calling. Defensiveness, feeling unjustly accused of something and having a negative reaction, is typically a response to criticism. Stonewalling is one or both partners shutting down in conflict.
Another celebrity couple that broke up recently is TV host Jeannie Mai Jenkins and rapper Jeezy, who filed for divorce on Sept. 14 after having a whirlwind romance. Although it is alleged that Mai Jenkins wanted to work to strengthen the marriage, Jeezy listed in the official filing that their marriage was “irretrievably broken” and there was “no hope for reconciliation.”
“As a marriage therapist, I would agree with all of these and feel that communication is essential in a relationship,” Gray said. “When partners start to feel that they are not being heard, or there is not a healthy way to resolve conflict, the marriage starts to break down.”
There are videos of Jenkins speaking about their relationship and how her mother practically moved in with them after the wedding. The public speculates that this is why he filed.
“Inability to reconcile and determine how the marriage can be healthy moving forward and then following through,” Gray said. “If there is infidelity in a marriage, that can sometimes be the sole reason for a divorce.”
Divorce is common, and can occur for a variety of reasons. Engaging in public discourse and speculations about the inner workings of a family can harm the well being of both parties, as well as the children.
