The rules of dating are not quite defined, nor have there been exemplary standards set for our generation to base our relationships on.

As for me, I grew up in a household where my parents were high school sweethearts raising me on princess movies and the happily ever after Hallmark Christmas channel movies that we all “love”. Growing up with the impression of love at first sight, love based on the size of your shoe, and true love’s kiss meant that I had unrealistic expectations when I decided to trade the movies out for the real thing.

Growing up with social media, I am sure we can all relate that many of our social interrelations happened behind a little blue screen and when it comes to face-to-face communication, we are all ignorant on how to correctly communicate with each other. Obviously, this sad reality applies to all forms of communication, much less communicating to find a mate.

With programs like snapchat, match.com, tender, hinge, etc taking over the scene of dating, it has allowed for individuals from many different walks of life to come into contact, but also what kind of connection exists behind the security blanket of no face-to-face encounters?

As a young woman, I have had my fair share of scrolling on dating apps, awkward set ups, and failed first date experiences. The one thing that most of these encounters have in common is that neither one of us knew how to effectively communicate without a phone in between the silence.

While this is not true for everyone, I am sure that the general population can relate to the aspect that dating, as we were taught to know, is few and far between. The loosey-goosey aspect of meeting your true love on a whim or falling in love and marrying your high school sweetheart has nearly gone extinct.

My friends and I in high school would take turns swapping selfies, doing each other’s makeup, and waiting for the special guy to choose us as their date to the prom. Not much has changed since coming to college, except instead of being a wallflower at a school dance, we are now wallflowers waiting for some guy to take us home from a bar.

This endless cycle of one-night stands, physical connection without emotional connection, and the expectations to withstand another failed “talking” stage has tainted what was once painted as happily ever after to happily forever single.

In attempts to avoid the unattractive “woah is me, I’ll never find the one” mantra that many singles live by nowadays, I guess there has been some good to come out of the world of online dating. Instead of waiting for the one to find you during some unprecedented time, we now can find a date while sitting on the toilet. But when it comes to matters of the heart, are we really that callus to finding true romance?

In speaking to my elders; mom, dad, cousins, aunt, uncles, grandparents, I have found that many of us are forgetting three vidal steps that could make dating popular again: meeting prospect partners through relatives; early, upfront communication about goals and life aspirations; and delaying sexual intimacy.